Fuck All the Exes

It's sooooo awkward! I mean, having to sit at the same table as him. I want to sit with my friends and talk to them! I could go move to another table, but in my head, that just shows I'm weak and fragile and I'm still broken inside. I brought Cards Against Humanity to school yesterday and every time I set up a game, he just so happen had to join. I hated it. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to deal with him. He's not funny and all his jokes are just... UGH!

Good news: I've started singing aloud more often. I used to hate singing, but now it's enjoyable. I don't care if I'm a horrible singer, I will sing! I'll listen to the BBC's playlis on Spotify and if he's around, I tend to sing more. A lot of the songs are "fuck you" or "I'm soooo better off without you" kind of songs.

I wish he'd go back to being the scrawny kid with no friends, like he was before I started dating him. It'd be better that way for EVERYONE. Even my friends call him an asshole. It's so frustrating.

I have a "date" with Hap next Friday... We're gonna go see a movie. I get to pick. I'm so nervous. I really like this guy. He's so easy to talk to and he just makes me smile so much. It'd probably be a better relationship if we do start going out because he have that space provided by going to different schools. Maybe Erin will approve. She'll be happy to know I've been doing a lot better since my last session. I have to tell her what happened that awful night.... *sigh* She'll probably be happy to know I've been trying to keep myself busy too. I love going in to see her. She helps so much. I can just rant and rant and rant and she'll be patient with me and she totally gets what I'm going through. She even said my relationship with Mr. McDoucheBagDickFace was unhealthy.

I need to hang out with Reine and co. again. I'll talk to her and see if there's a meet up next weekend. I'll take Sam too, if she wants to go. It'd be a blast!

I wonder what Hap is doing... I'm talking to him, but he's taking a bit to respond... I didn't get to talk to him last night because of work... I want this. I really do.


I'll blog again later at some random day. Maybe if I have time this weekend between work and college prep stuff and math. I'm failing Pre-Calc honors right now. I have a D+. I failed my two part test. I told Mrs. Terry I'd do test corrections this weekend and she wants me to do some extra problems to double check to make sure I know the material. I hate these higher level math classes... I gotta go now. Mum is on her way here.