Yesterday was Valentine's day.... It was awful. Everyone was so happy with their flowers and candy and stuffed bears. Everyone was so happy. I just wanted to leave and end the day. I cried in the car by myself for a bit. Then we got home and I got ready for going to my dad's for the weekend.

I talked to him again. It'd been a while. A friend told me there was something wrong and I should talk to him. I guess he deleted my number because he didn't know who I was. It was nice to talk to him anonymously. He and his girlfriend broke up yesterday. He made it sound neutral, like they both agreed he needed time to heal. After a bit, he finally figured out it was me. He told me that all I had to do was not say "Fuck you", because he was pretending not to be hurting when he really was. All I had to do was hold on tight. He said I broke his trust. He told me if I wanted to talk, we could make some amends. He also said to give him a call if I wanted to "fuck".

Why am I still crying? Why does it still hurt?