I'm Done

I'm breaking. I'm completely done with life. I had another panic attack last night. I had more thoughts. It had been a while. I thought about stabbing myself again. This time at school. Just let the blade slowly work it's way in. Collapse in the area where my friends hang out. Just die right there. My last words were "I'm free". I was finally free. Free from the chains I was entangled in. I'm done with this life. I want to start anew. I hate this life. It sucks and it hurts so much. I can't stand to be around him. His girlfriend just walked into the activity gym and my heart dropped. My panic attacks are getting worse and worse. Who knows, I might have one everyday or maybe multiple ones per day. I've given up on looking for my "soul mate" or someone who can save me. I've given up on school and my future. I can't see myself in college. I can't see myself past high school. Past this year... I give up.... I finally give up.